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Exclusive: Foreign Secretary asked to reject 'language of war and conflict' and 'lead by example'

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It needs medication or something!” Then the dog trainer comes in, works with the dog, and in a short time—with appropriate and —the dog is gentle and obedient.

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This child needs comfort, encouragement, and protection, not criticism or punishment.” But if the parent takes the children’s behavior as a personal offense and reacts defensively and critically, it will only provoke the children into more hostility.

Rather than respond with indignation at what children say or do, it is very important for parents to think, “This is the way my child is expressing hurt and fear.

What sort of commitments are these?

If family members sense that one member is trying to alter the system’s equilibrium by detaching from its abusive patterns, that member will be perceived as a threat, labeled as a “black sheep,” and much pressure, such as manipulation with shame and guilt, will be applied to draw that member back into the family dysfunction.

In this situation, only one psychological solution can be possible:

Most parents will say something like, “Well, I tried my best, so that means I loved my children.” This really amounts to more of a defense than an answer.

What can they say about trauma?

In other words, it’s the sorrow for others—out of —that makes it possible to accept that terrible, painful “cure” for your own guilt.

In fact, if they don’t experience it, they die.

Moreover, in this forlorn state, you are far removed from because all the good you do for others is motivated unconsciously by the desire to appease others to keep them from abandoning you if they should discover your real thoughts and feelings.

To learn how the world works.

Furthermore, you would have become angry at your parents because of their dysfunction—and then you would have become so terrified of your anger that you secretly desired to be punished .

How many fathers are absent from the family because of divorce?

So the parents resort to using to control their children, constantly telling the children that they are “bad” and threatening the children with the fear of punishment.

How many fathers are absent from the family because of alcoholism?

But abuse is abuse, simply because using a child for erotic pleasure strips the child’s vulnerable ego of its dignity and humanity and makes the child’s body into a mere object; this experience leaves the child with the life-long psychological scars of guilt and and of feeling like a piece of .